Did Mother’s Day exacerbate my parenting fails this week?

Mother’s Day is such a heart warming feeling when you are a new mum. I’ve had the pleasure of experiencing five of them now, and it just seems to get more and more fun when each one comes along.

img_0563.jpgThis year, well more so, the days leading up to Mother’s Day were a little comical in terms of what our dear daughter got up to… As well as our various parenting fails that occurred.

It all started Monday night with the first “family fail”. You see, I moonlight as a nurse part-time, and often work the nightshift – which is exactly what I was doing at this particular moment.

I got a semi-frantic phone call from the husband at about ten past seven in the morning. It seemed that Jessie had put a ring of hers on her finger in the bath the night before. It had slipped on easily in the soapy water, but once she got out of the bath she couldn’t remove it. She never told anyone about it however, and just went about her nightly routine as she normally would.

The next morning, there was still no mention to daddy about said ring stuck on finger. It wasn’t until he was walking her into the school yard to before school care that he noticed her sausage-like pointer finger, whilst holding her hand.

At the time I was still working, and I couldn’t really sort out the situation from my end anyway; so I suggested he try soap, or fairy liquid, or even butter to help ease the ring off…. But this was to no avail.

About 5 minutes later he sent me a text: “We’ll see you in the ED”….. Looks like it’s really stuck!!!

Luckily, around 7am is a relatively quiet time in a children’s hospital emergency department, so she was taken straight in. Unluckily though, she had just eaten half a croissant for breakfast, and was going to have to wait 2 hours until she could have the happy gas required to actually get the ring off.

So there we sit, watching frozen on a portable DVD player until 9.15. Not so much fun after being awake the entire night working, when all I desperately want is my bed. I did go slightly delirious I think, as I found myself singing along to Frozen a tad louder than I should have been.

But after a few minutes of the gas, the wonderful ED team were able to cut the ring off, and free the finger. After another 3 minutes of oxygen, a couple of Jatz crackers, and a pink milk – we were good to go to school.

By 10.30 she was in class, and showing off her sausage finger battle wounds to her classmates. Oh well, at least it was a great story for news that day! And not long after, I was falling into the comfort of my bed for a well deserved (although very short) rest.

. . . .

Our next fail happened on Thursday morning – the day of the Mother’s Day stall at school. The whole family woke up late this day, so it was a rush out the door. My husband had left her with a special envelope from the school that he had placed $15 into. One $10 note, and one $5 note. Simply because there was a $10 and a $5 gift table, so we thought it best to give her the choice with the least amount of confusion.

Silly mummy accidentally forgot to take the envelope to school that day, so I ended up having to give the teacher $15 out of my wallet – in the form of 3x $5 notes. So when it was time for Jessie’s class to shop the stall, my clever little entrepreneur bought 2x $5 presents, and took the rest off to the canteen for an ice block!

Brilliant!

But bless her, she wasn’t greedy, she only spent 90c and came home with the change. Good on her for that.

. . .
img_0872.jpgThe last fail of the week happened on Friday afternoon, about half an hour before school was due to end. We’ve had a lot of issues with Jess not listening at all lately, and so this whole event did not really surprise me at all.

So Jess and her little classmate both had a pair of scissors each, and decided to cut themselves a fringe each. The teacher asked them repeatedly to stop, but the girls just wouldn’t listen.

Next, it was mid-way down Jessie’s pony tail to get the chop, so by this stage they were sent to the head teacher’s room for not listening. The minute school was over and they walked out of class to the parents gathered waiting below, the two girls burst into tears as soon as they made eye contact with their mums.

They were actually quite hysterical with the amount of crying. Once we finally understood why they were so upset, we decided that we better have a chat with the teachers. So, whilst trying to appear serious (and trying to hide my laughter) we chatted to the teacher and the girls felt much better. To be honest it was probably more to do with the shock of getting in trouble, rather than the cutting of the hair that was upsetting them. They were truly disappointed in themselves, poor little things. But still, another great lesson to be learned!

And to be fair, it could have been a lot worse. The fringe blends in, and the pony tail was cut relatively evenly. Not even a trip to the hairdresser was required to repair it. Phew!

img_0851.jpgSo by the time it reached Sunday, I was so eager for my day of spoiling, and so grateful for a bit of time with them both. My Mother’s Day gifts consisted of a stunning home made card featuring a coloured in artwork that daddy and Jessie had been working on together for the last few weeks (precious!), plus her purchases from the Mother’s Day stall which included a set of three beaded bracelets, and a compact mirror for my handbag – both gorgeously gold plated, as this is Jessie’s most favourite colour of the moment.

These were teamed with Jessie’s last minute decision gift on Mother’s Day morning, which consisted of a small cactus that had three sprouts – she said it reminded her of daddy, mummy, and Jessie….. Perhaps she likened us (tongue in cheek) to a bunch of pricks????

Just joking – I’m sure my five year old isn’t that clever for such a pun!

So after all of the antics in the lead up to Mother’s Day, it was lovely to receive a little spoiling come Sunday. An easy lunch, and a few glasses of wine with my little family made it just about perfect. Totes blessed!


So to all of those lovely mummy’s out there, I’m sending you lots of love this Mother’s Day. And also to the grand mummy’s, step mummy’s, mummy’s to be, mummy’s of the future, and especially the Angel mummy’s – who’s babies found their wings way to early.

To all of you, know how much you are loved and respected. Mum’s are the best!

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Words by Danielle Tinkler.

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What to do with some time alone?

Well today it seems I have scored the parenting jackpot. And that is simply just – some time alone. As I am staring down the barrel of single parenting for the next two weeks (and to all of the single parents out there, I sincerely take my hat off to you) while my husband jets off for a lovely holiday with a mate – I decided that this weekend, I was in special need of a little bit of R & R, all by myself.

So to honour my request, the good old husband and child swiftly packed themselves up in the car, and set off to a little caravan park early Saturday morning. They were out of my hair by about 9 am (bless them!).

And there it was, an untidy house – but with it came the beautiful sound of silence… Yet that untidy house didn’t phase me one bit. I could have been in a plush hotel for all I knew, because the feeling of knowing I had my time all to myself was just total bliss.

So what to do with my 30 hours off? Well I’m not going to lie, I made the beds and had a quick tidy up to start with, but that took all of about 15 minutes. The rest of my day was spent not even leaving my own suburb… But you can still turn it into a holiday at home, with a little bit of pampering, and a whole lot of self care.

Excercise.  The first hour I spent working up a sweat. I hardly ever get the chance to go for a good workout with no time restrictions. So today I threw on the activewear, grabbed some headphones, and went running (well half running, half walking to be exact). Following that, I actually got the chance to do some home yoga… Uninterrupted!

 Lunch for one. Head out to your favourite local restaurant or cafe, and sit down and order your favourite meal on the menu, plus a coffee or even a nice glass of wine – and enjoy the whole experience without having to help anyone with their colouring in, or play with whatever the favourite toy of the moment is. Or even talk, for that matter.

Sit in the sunshine. Whilst it wasn’t really a beach day today (bummer!), I still took the opportunity to lie on the grass in a local park and soak up some sun. The beauty of this is that I didn’t have to supervise anyone, or entertain anyone. Or do anything really… It was just me, on my own, alone with my thoughts and a magazine.

Meditate. It’s something I try to do daily, and it’s something we should al make time for in our lives once in a while. But when you’ve got that solo time to yourself it’s a must do. Precious time alone doesn’t come around very often when you’re a mother, so taking the time to clear your mind is probably the best gift you can give yourself.

Catch a movie. And I mean a movie that is not just a G rated cartoon. Choose something that your child and/or partner would never want to see in a million years. I chose Spotlight. It was pretty heavy to say the least – but it was something I would probably never get the chance to watch otherwise.

Get a massage. Pampering doesn’t have to be expensive. If you have private health insurance, chances are you can claim back on remedial massage and natural therapies – so why not use it to your advantage! I hit one of my local Chinese medicine centres, and spent an hour or so getting a massage plus cupping. My body now feels loose and supple – and apart from the slight bruising on my back, I can already feel the benefits.

Wander the shops – solo. How often do you ever just get the chance to spend as long as you want in the shops that you like? Wander aimlessly, look at what you like, and take as long as you like – around a shopping centre or some local markets.

Grab a bottle of wine and your fave takeaway. Evans & Tate Pile Driver Shiraz, plus a nice little Thai Crispy Pork Belly was on the menu for me tonight, as I headed home to my peaceful little abode. The only thing that could possibly bother me now was the cat meowing for attention… Pretty sure I can manage that.

Woman in bathtub

Take a long bath. For as long as you can handle. Light your favourite candles or some incense. Pour a glass of Shiraz, and pipe in a little music. Now this is something we mum’s never get to do!

DVD or Netflix? Who cares! Just put that super relaxed body onto the sofa, and (again) watch the things that you want to watch.

Go to bed. You don’t need to go out partying all night to feel like you’ve had a good weekend. It’s time to cherish this alone time, and sleep in the middle of the bed, feeling good about the fact that you can wake up whenever you want to!

And I know these insights might not seem that exciting to many, but to most busy mum’s I know – this weekends little timetable would seem like a dream come true. It was the chance to really get my mojo back, with no pressure, and no feelings of guilt whatsoever. I know that I’ve got a mountain of washing about to come home to me on Sunday, and I also know there is a hectic week of work and school ahead – but this precious time alone was like a godsend to me, it’s just what I needed…IMG_1578

And did I miss them? Yeah maybe… But also maybe not. I am grateful for all of the moments we have together, as I cherish my loved ones dearly – but I also realise that it’s so important to take time out to recharge my batteries if I want to give them the best of what I have.

Look after yourselves mamas xo

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Words – Danielle Tinkler.

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Don’t judge me by the number of children I have.

Just the other day I felt completely judged by some totally thoughtless comments, made by an older woman that I know.

Unfortunately, this kind of judgement is often a regular occurrence in my life these days…. And it centres around the public’s perceived view of us having an “only-child”.
The woman told me very matter-of-factly that she believed it was unfair of me to make my daughter be an only child, and that I most certainly should have had another one by now….

Wait a minute….? What….? I thought to myself (aghast). Am I seriously being judged here on how many little humans may, or may not have occupied my uterus???

Has this woman actually deemed my family of not being worthy, just because we don’t fit societies “mould”? Has she not even given a thought that conception, pregnancy and childbirth is quite often a little easier said… than it is done?

What people don’t seem to take into consideration before making these kind of well intended comments, is that people and families are all different. We all have different ideals.

We all have different hopes, dreams and aspirations.  Some of us are completely maternal, and have dreamed of having big families since we were old enough to play with dolls. Others may not be as so. But also, we all have deeper (and sometimes darker) reasons behind our family make up. The public do not know (and nor should they know) the in’s and out’s of our life, our thoughts, our dreams, our financial situations, nor have they considered our own medical histories.

 We, as a couple feel completely blessed that the gods and the universe decided to let us be the parents to one happy, healthy, and pretty together little person – and we totally accept that. My husband and I wouldn’t change any of that for the world.

The guilt that I have in my heart is hard enough for me to bare, that I have not been able to provide my daughter with a sibling. I have my reasons why, and it is very hard to explain these to her when she asks me to. She is only 4, and explaining these kind of things to a 4 year old is not an easy feat.  

But what the public don’t realise is that when they feel the need to point it out, they just continue to stir up these feelings in me. What simply might be a matter of curiosity for you, is actually very upsetting to me. And having to explain this time and time again makes the whole thing even worse.

Each time I experience comments and questions such as this, I spare a thought for the handful of other mothers-of-one that I know… Women who have tried their absolute hardest to conceive, and finally do have their such wanted miracle. And just like me, but for their own individual reasons – these gorgeous ladies have had to accept that a single child family is probably what is meant to be for them also.

When the universe blesses you with what you really do want in life, it is our duty to be totally grateful for what we have. And most certainly not to be dwelling on what we don’t have.

So, to the people of society that believe it is their right to comment on the fact that we have an only child, we would instead prefer you to refer to her as our child…. Simple as that. And furthermore, we do not need people like you asking us when, or telling us that we should be having another one – just because society deems it so. 
Your comments might be well intended by you, but they are actually quite hurtful to us with your judgement of our situation, the choices we have made, and what we have come to accept.

Our little family is perfect just the way it is, thanks!

In the future, please keep your opinions to yourself, and don’t ever again judge any family on the number of offspring that they have in it; instead judge them on the quality of life that is had by all of them when they spend time together – because at the end of the day, that really is the most important thing.
Signed,

A very proud and loving, mother-of-one.

dont judge me

 

And as a side note, this post is also dedicated to mothers of multiple children, who get judged but the public for having too many. 

And to the fabulous mother’s of boys, who get continually asked if they are going to “try for a girl” (and vice versa). 

To all of the mother’s of twins out there, who always have to encounter the same barrage of questions about them – over, and over, and over again. 

To the woman who has recently miscarried, and is silently grieving inside to herself. 

And finally, this post goes out to the women out there that do not have any children, yet still get asked by members of the public “when” do they intend to have them? Not knowing at all what this woman’s choices, thoughts, or circumstances might be.

In the end, it’s nobody else’s business, these are our bodies, and our lives. It’s time to change the record, and talk about something else.

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Words by Dani Tinkler.

 

 

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Motherhood: The Darker Side They Never Told Me About.

People often say that moving house or renovating are up there as two of the most stressful things a couple can go through in their lives – apart from death or divorce, that is.

Well, I am about to squash that myth and make a statement – that the transition of going from “couple” to “family” is probably the most stressful event that a woman can experience.

 

Forget all of those clichés that pregnancy and the birth experience is all sunshine and rainbows. In the real world, it truly is hard work both physically and emotionally – and anyone that believes that it’s a walk in the park is either lying to you, or in the absolute minority.

Motherhood the darker side

Motherhood… It can be a struggle.

While I’m not at all denying that the journey into parenthood is an amazing experience, it’s just that what many people do not appreciate is the total (and unspoken of) life-flip that effects the woman once she enters this new motherhood phase. Up until the last few weeks of pregnancy, the mother-to-be is more than likely still working in whatever dynamic and fast paced profession that she has been excelling in for most of her adult life so far. All of a sudden it is time to pop out this little bundle of joy – and now life as we know it gets changed forever.

For the high achieving woman, whatever your role was before – is now suddenly considered only “what you used to do”.

Now you are living on broken sleep, being physically drained, and completely devoted to someone else’s timetable.

It’s not about you anymore. It’s certainly not about what you need, nor what you want. For now, it’s all about your baby…. Followed closely second by your partner!

 

Welcome to the darker side of motherhood.

 

It’s the untold phenomenon that so many women suffer with, but that nobody really talks about. It’s something that we all will come to learn, but we seem to keep inside ourselves. It’s something that I suffered with myself – and since then I have watched and heard of countless new mum’s suffer with as well. And it’s the one thing that our partners just cannot seem to be able to get their heads around.

You see, it’s a very “grey” area. It’s all about feelings, emotions, anxieties and depression. There is no “black & white” here – which is probably why it’s so difficult for the males of the species to understand.

Motherhood the darker sideI went from being a pretty fun and independent chick, with a fast paced job and lots of fun stuff going on in my life…. To being a mother – who soon found it such a challenge to get properly dressed by lunchtime.

From someone who used to travel often… to someone who found it even a mission to get out and meet a friend for coffee.

A once high achieving, social butterfly was now spending her days almost like a hermit; who’s anxieties were growing inside herself – just because she “couldn’t get sh#t done” like she used to…

My independent, dynamic life was gone; and that was very difficult to take.

 

Anxiety and depression for new mothers is real – and it’s now becoming increasingly common, especially amongst high achieving women. We seem to judge ourselves with such harsh brutality when it comes to what we now do & don’t get done in our days.

For some reason we feel the need to justify what we have done each day to our spouses – but are we really trying to justify it to ourselves? We as mothers seem to forget that we are now attempting one of the most important jobs of our lives, in raising a little human being.

Instead of criticising ourselves, we need to support each other. We need to release the stigmas, and those self-inflicted burdens that we keep placing on ourselves. We need to accept ourselves for doing a pretty good job at this thing called “parenting” – and try to enjoy it for what it really is.

 

Yes, it can be isolating.

Yes, it can be brain numbing and even a little boring (dare I say it!)

And yes, sometimes it will just be down-right annoying and can push you to your limits; but we all know that it is an experience that we would not give up for the world.  Just cut yourself a little slack, and realise that it is normal to feel a little loss of identity from who you once were. You might even be feeling a little uninspired right now – and that’s OK….

Recognising your anxieties is half the battle. Share your feelings with another mother, and she will empathise with you wholeheartedly. It’s OK to have down days, but remember to celebrate the little wins just as often.

You’ve got this… and you’re doing a fab job, mummy.

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Words by Danielle Tinkler.

Photo credit: Centre of Attention Photography & Once Upon A Violet.

 

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Missing them already…

Missing them alreadyMissing them already…

 

I was once told in the past whilst being treated by a reiki master and numerologist, that my life seems to resonate with the number 8 quite a lot – in the sense that I experience really lovely highs in life; but as a trade off I often seem to go through pretty depressing (and seemingly dramatic) lows as well. It’s kind of rare for me to experience an even state of equilibrium… And then if I do, I often don’t realise it or take it in.

No, I’m not bi-polar, but more like super-passionate about certain things, which can be a little consuming in that particular moment. It’s one of the reasons why I need to consciously practice mindfulness and gratitude. But right now, anxiety has been creeping in, and I’m a mixed bag of emotions; and let me tell you – it’s driving both me and my loved ones up the wall.

You see, my husband and daughter are only days away from jet-setting it over to spend two weeks with family and friends in the UK… And I’m not going with them – This time I’ll be staying at home.

Now in hindsight, the idea of staying home alone didn’t really phase me. I have always been totally supportive of this trip so that they can spend some real quality time with his family. This is the reality when you marry an ex-pat, as once in a while time is going to have to be spent going home – sometimes with you, sometimes without you. And to be completely honest, I am quite excited to have a break from motherhood, and to have two weeks of doing exactly what I want, when I want. However as the days sneak closer to take off, I’m feeling that I am getting more and more uptight by the minute. I guess you could say that the experience is starting to get real.

I have a four year old that simply just loves to hold my hand – and her daddy’s hand too, of course! But pretty much every waking moment, be it out and about, or even at home, she reaches out for my hand.

Even in her sleep.

And that’s beautiful! It truly warms my heart. So naturally it’s starting to feel like my left arm is being cut off at the thought of her leaving – even if it is for this relatively short time.

And, yes, I know it’s only two weeks.

And I know that the time will absolutely fly by.

I know completely in my head that I am going to be so busy doing lovely things for myself that I will only just blink for one second and they will be home again.

My brain knows this logically, but my heart still aches as I miss them already. It’s like a form of separation anxiety. Is it a primal instinct? Is it an innate “maternal” feeling that all mothers possess – just like that feeling you get when you pack them off for their first day of pre-school?

Why as women do we have so much difficulty separating between what we know to be real and right in the head, compared to what we cannot help but feel in the heart?

Or maybe that’s just me….

But here’s to them, and I hope that they have a lovely trip back to the motherland! And I look forward to greeting them both with open arms and a multitude of kisses at the arrivals terminal when they get back in a few weeks. Love you! xo

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PS: Oh, and just so you know – the big event all went off much better than I had anticipated… We didn’t cry (well maybe I did only a tiny bit) and I am now enjoying having my big comfy bed all to myself for a change! 😉  xo

Words by Danielle Tinkler.

 

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Respect For The Elderly.

respect for the elderly

Respect for the elderly.

Teaching good manners and ethics to our 4 year old is something that is a high priority in our household at the moment. So it is always interesting when we encounter some rudeness or poor behaviour from members of the general public when out and about. Even though our daughter is an “only child”, it is important to teach her the values of sharing, and waiting your turn – patiently. In fact, considering that she is an only child it is probably even more important that we teach this consistently – as she doesn’t always have another child around all of the time to practice this.

Learning about having respect for the elderly is also another value that I consider to be so important, especially when we are teaching little ones to grow up in today’s society. So if we as parents are trying to instil these good habits in our youngsters, then why do so many older people think that its ok for them to be completely rude to the younger generations?

respect for the elderly

*Note – these are NOT the old people from the actual story 😉
Image: Depositphotos

Ironically, over the last two weeks there have been two separate occasions where both my husband and I have been rudely “shouldered” out of the way by a much older member of the public to get served in a queue. And then, only to add fuel to both our fires – when we have politely tried to state that we were next in line, we were both shot down in flames.

And both of these situations have been so bizarre in their similarity – with the old lady’s response to me today at the cafe being: “But I am only ordering one meal, not two” – and similarly to my husband at the RSL club, from an elderly man saying “But I am only ordering one beer for myself, not a whole shout like you are wanting”.

I am sure that these scenarios are quite confusing and challenging for a 4 year old brain to compute – because regardless of what we are ordering, she has witnessed us practicing what we have preached and do the right thing by lining up and politely waiting for our turn to be served.

So my question is this… How am I supposed to instil these good, fair morals into my four year old of waiting your turn – just like most of society follows? And especially after she has just been witness to both her mummy and daddy being completely disrespected by a member of the older generation.

And furthermore, do these elderly people actually realise that they are tarnishing the reputation of their entire demographic, simply by treating the younger generations this way? It is a behaviour that many of us encounter only too often with the elderly – but we just seem to tolerate it, mutter about it at the time, and then vent about it to our friends or family later.

So as I sat down to lunch with my daughter, she asked me “Why was that old lady so nasty to us just then, mummy?”.

My reply took a little time to compose… Due to the fact that I almost had steam coming out of my ears.

And as I sat and pondered for that moment before answering her, I tried really hard to turn this around and work out what lesson we were both supposed to be learning from this situation. I figured that I had one of two choices…

I could  get even more upset about it, focusing on my negative vibes and then my day would just continue get worse as I would keep riding the wave of mishaps and suffering

Or,

I could choose to free myself, and the woman from what she said and did; and simply accept that perhaps she is having a bad day. No more judgement of the situation than that. It is not a personal attack on me – it has nothing to do with who I am. And by doing this, I can hopefully lift the negative vibes from both of us.

So how do I teach this to Jessie? Well in the end I just bit my tongue, dug deep within my most positive vibes and simply said this:

“Sweetheart, sometimes in life as people get old, they also get a little cranky… And sometimes cranky people say mean things. So let’s just try and forgive and forget what this lady did, and continue to be nice to everyone for the rest of the day. And remember Jessie – most older people really are very nice, not nasty”.

Respect for the elderlyAnd with that, the grey storm cloud that was looming over head proceeded to break apart and show a little bit of blue (cliché I know, but it happened!), and then the whole feeling of our day seemed to change.

So as she clinked her babycinno into my skinny cap, I looked at that cloud and put a mental tick on my good moments of parenting list – because from then on the afternoon only got better!

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Words by Danielle Tinkler.

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Classic Conversations Episode 4.

Classic Conversations With A Four Year Old – Episode 4.

Jessie loves Madonna.

I love Madonna…. I mean I really, really LOVE Madonna! And so does Mr Honeydew, and I cannot believe that I/we have never had the chance to see her live before, but you can bet your ass I will be there with bells on as soon as she visits Australia again! So as you can imagine, if any track by Madonna (or the likes of any other 80’s super hero in my book) comes on the radio – it gets cranked up LOUD!!!!

Madonna 9So its not that unusual that Miss Jessie V loves Madge also….  But the lyrics seem to be taken a little differently by the four-year-old demographic group.

Imagine yourself in a family car trip with us…. The car is packed, and we all take our seats… The first part of the road tripping ritual, is to play “Holiday” by Madonna. And guess what – she has known pretty much every lyric to this track since she has been able to speak.

Her next classic fave track would have to be Material Girl – and she sings this one with almighty gusto – as she tells the car that she is “living in a waterial world”, as she is a “waterial girl”…. Hey, well I suppose that boys may come, and boys may go – and that’s alright with me….. Yep, pretty sure that this gal wont be taking on any boy until he can “raise her interest”, so to speak – and that’s going to be a while for sure with this little miss, who really doesn’t care for boys at all right now – except her daddy.

Madonna 8When it comes to Like A Prayer, or Express Yourself (my two personal faves, I must say) – she isn’t the hugest fan (yet!). But when it comes to Like A Virgin – then this is where you cannot help but laugh-out-loud…. Because apparently, the actual title to this song in her world is: Like A Dragon…..

Reminiscent of a medieval fairy tale perhaps? Where the handsome prince slays the mighty dragon, and rescues the fair princess from the tower…. This is exactly what the song is about in Jess’ world. But I’m pretty sure Madonna had other things on her mind when she wrote this one!

Never the less, it still brings a smile to my face every time we listen to The Immaculate Collection. Sing a longs in the car are just priceless when Jess is belting out some tunes!

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By Dani Tinkler.

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Classic Conversations Episode 3.

Classic Conversations With A Four Year Old – Episode 3.

The value of money. 

As you know very recently Australia celebrated Anzac Day and the Diggers 100 years anniversary. So, like most Australian families, we got up at 4am and made the pilgrimage down the hill to Coogee Beach to attend the Dawn Service in our local area. We then went for a nice breakfast, before catching a few more hours in bed to prepare for the best part of Anzac Day – Two Up!

Penny Two UpThis year, we attended our local pub with some friends of ours that also have kids. We all had a little gamble – but kept it totally real, and didn’t get greedy. I even had a turn in the middle being the spinner, and threw 5 heads in a row! The kids were not allowed around the betting ring, but they were allowed to stand just inside the door by the ring to watch, so naturally we put on a few bets and let the kids call the shots.

By the end of our Two Up afternoo0n, Pete was up $100, I was up $60 (It was more but I donated $25 back to Coogee Surf Lifesaving Club after being the spinner), and Jessie was up $15.

Pete decided that he would match Jessie’s winnings dollar for dollar, and gave her another $15 to put into her purse.

Fleetwood MacLater that evening once we were home, the three of us were all dancing around the lounge room together to the sounds of Fleetwood Mac, and getting excited for the concert we are planning on attending this coming November (but that’s a whole other post altogether). When I suggested that Jessie might perhaps like to put her winnings towards her ticket to Fleetwood Mac?…

This is how it went down:

Me: I cannot WAIT to go to this concert! It is going to be so much fun!

Jessie: Me either Mummy, I just love the “glitter” song (AKA Everywhere, as it “sounds” like what you can imagine glitter to sound like, in the intro).

Me: I know! Here’s an idea – how about you use your money that you won today towards your concert ticket?

Jessie: Um, no mummy – I think I’ll buy a Barbie.

 

Ah, priorities for a child… Love it! But really, what else would you expect? It would have been even more ridiculous if she had of agreed with my idea! Good on her for knowing what she wants in the here and now.

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Words by Dani Tinkler

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Positive Parenting Is Paying Off.

Positive parenting is paying off!

OK, so if you have read a little back on the blog recently, you might have noticed that I have been really trying to make some positive steps towards showing positive vibes, and positive actions in regards to the way I interact with our daughter Jessie. Positivity, kindness, manners and gratitude are something that I have been trying to teach as being an unconditional characteristic that she gives out – and one of my techniques that I have tried has been to leave her positive affirmations as gifts from the fairies.
positive parentingWell last night I was shown in the most pure and innocent way that these positive vibes are certainly rubbing off on her.


Before she went to bed, Jess wanted to leave a note for “Fairy Josie” (Josie is the name of my late grandmother who passed away before I was born).


The note did not ask for any toys, lollies or presents… It simply showed love, kindness and gratitude – exactly the behaviours that I have been hoping for!
Jess also left an offering of her “second last” Easter Egg for the fairies to enjoy.
The whole act bought tears to my eyes.


If children grow up with values such as these, then I think we as a human race will be ok….
Perhaps a lot of adults I have met in the past should take a few lessons like this from children?

 

After a lot of soul searching within myself over the last 10 years or so, I cannot deny that the essence of feeling good always stems back to positivity, gratitude, and good karma. Selfless acts, and expecting nothing back in return (except for the other persons happiness) is one of the most mature things that a human can hope to achieve. I am over the moon that my four year old is starting to show these traits in her own way, as all I can do as a parent is to encourage it wholeheartedly.

#kindness #gratitude #love #beauty #jessieviolet #scenesfromthedollshouse

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Words by Dani Tinkler.

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Scenes from the dolls house…

For our daughter, often there is nothing more important in her life than her collection of Disney characters and princesses. It is wonderful to see her entertaining herself with them, and sometimes I even eavesdrop to find out what adventures she is having with the gang  – but what I like the most about her play time is the surprises that I find around the house once her game has finished. And it’s given me an idea for a new Instagram hashtag called #scenesfromthedollshouse

So every so often, as part of the column “Classic Conversations With A Four Year Old” we would like to update you on the latest funny situations that I find the toys in, on any random day. Remember that I have NO PART in the positioning or set up of these toys – I purely find a good camera angle to get the shot, and occasionally make up funny words to tell the story; the rest comes straight from the mind of Miss Jessie Violet.

But for now, let’s take a look at where #scenesfromthedollshouse all began….

Scenes from the dollshouse2Well I guess it all began one day when I found Snow White wearing only her underwear, and it seemed she had “fallen in” to the toilet… Poor old Snow looked like she was at the end of a huge night out, and I thought that it was definitely a photo worthy shot.

Needless to say, this particular photo got quite a lot of laughs from the Instagram public – and Facebook also to be precise…. With most of my “friends” relating Snow White’s pose to something I would have done “back in the day”…. Cheers guys, thanks! (insert sarcasm here 😉 )

 

Scenes From The Dolls House7

In our next shot we have attended an out door music, food and wine festival in Coogee, and all of a sudden I look down to find two barbie dolls all tucked up to have a little nap…

Only their hair is like a birds nest – yet their makeup remains flawless!

The funny side to this shot is that after an afternoon of fun at a food and wine festival, I am sure that there were probably many attendees feeling exactly the same way!

 

The last shot that I will share with you all today, I could only describe as being an uncanny resemblance to our families personalities, structure, and the way Jess sees us…. Although a total fluke (at least I assume it was a fluke), she decides on 3 Mr Men books to read out of the entire His n Hers collections…

Scenes From The Dolls House4Mr Tall – AKA Daddy

Little Miss Busy – AKA Mummy

And last of all – Little Miss Princess (no prizes for guessing who that is meant to be!)

 

 

 

Sharing these #scenesfromthedollshouse is quite entertaining for me, and I am finding that the Instagram public are getting a little chuckle out of it also. So stay tuned to OUAV, and see what they get up to over the next few episodes!

Be sure to follow us on Instagram too!  (it’s so much cooler than Facebook!)

 

 

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By Dani Tinkler 

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